Nicole vs. Life
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
