how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
