you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
