why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
