and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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