Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
honey bunches of taint.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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