I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
