I wish life had little blips of pornography
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The adults are the big ones right?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
