Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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