Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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