Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
