I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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