I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
