I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
