there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
