doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
