I'm drive I can fine osifer
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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