My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
