when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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