at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
