why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
