No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
