good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
