her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
