I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
