SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
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