Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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