nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize