If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize