Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Randomize