Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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