I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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