ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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