i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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