Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
