My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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