As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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