but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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