I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
