"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
