I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize