Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
