i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
