so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
