now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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