Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You pole danced in your parka.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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