y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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