whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
