K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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