Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just gargled with NyQuil
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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