Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
