I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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