For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize