people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
