so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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