I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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