Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
