im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
