I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
