Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
