the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
