You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
