If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize