I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My bed smells like the plague
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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