sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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