I must be too annoying 4 u.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
