I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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