It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
