therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
