I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
