my mouth tastes like poor choices
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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