I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Im part way to drunk.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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