peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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