you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
